As the saying goes, “If you can’t take the heat get out of the kitchen”.  Once again MasterChef has served up some great life lessons.  Last year I wrote about the great leadership, coaching and mentoring we can learn from MasterChef.  Again Garry, George, Matt and the other guest chefs showed us how to excel in this area of leadership.

On this occasion, I want to comment on ‘Resilience’ and dealing with setbacks and challenges, and how MasterChef gave us a window into how people handle stress and demanding situations.  The time pressures and increasingly difficult tasks set for the contestants showed us how well they were able to manage themselves under pressure and produce the goods.  You could often see the demands of a given situation getting to a number of the contestants.  It was unrelenting at times.  Those who were able to hold it together and ‘manage’ themselves on every level when under added strain performed better.  The constant practice enhanced their skills for sure, but it also taught them how to deal with pressure which is just as important.  Prior to the final episode, we saw Adam, Claire and Callum put under pressure and it was Adam and Callum who held it together better than Claire.  Claire is an extremely talented cook but got rattled more than the others thus affecting her performance.  Unlike Jonathon who survived eight out of nine elimination challenges, Claire had only been in one before and you could tell.  She wasn’t ready for it.

Luckily for the MasterChef contestants they were only subjected to this for about three and a half months.  Working chefs are required to take the ‘heat’ everyday albeit in environments they can control.  This got me thinking about those professions where every action and the outcomes of those actions are scrutinised every day, placing pressure on those to perform at their best.  Professional Chefs and Sports People, Air Traffic Controllers and Surgeons come to mind and I am sure there are several others.  With the exception of weather for both the Air Traffic Controllers and some Professional Sports People, for the best part, all of these professions allow their people to work in environments they can directly control and influence.

Sales people also have the scrutiny of performance in common with these professions however, they are often working in environments that are not of their own making or design.  They need to be able to deal with, and adapt to things outside of their control, i.e variable conditions and new environments, meeting new people, going to new places, uncovering new issues; variables of many kinds.  And unlike recipes, which if executed correctly should turn out like they were intended, sales people are often presented with the ‘Mystery Box’ (same ingredients different outcomes) on a daily basis several times a day.  They have to be able to think on their feet, and create outcomes their clients need and want.  They need to know how this goes with this to that.

How do they handle the stress?  How do they develop their resilience to perform at higher and higher standards every day without cracking?  How do they pay attention and make sure every client feels like they are special and important when you have listened to 5-25 people already that day?

As sales people, our actions are assessed by ourselves, our managers and our clients.  We deal with acceptance and rejection of our offering every day.  Our activities are tracked and mapped.  There are league tables, etc.

Any self respecting, self managed, self aware sales person would be able to tell you where they are at each day.  They will also tell you that they have learned not to take ‘No’ as personal rejection – that’s a fatal mistake made by many a new sales person.  Selling is the ultimate ‘thinking on your feet’ and ‘doing’ job.  Like athletes, we need to be continually exercising and getting fitter, developing our skills, knowledge and mindset all at the same time.

Why don’t we teach ‘How to Build Resilience and a Healthy Mindset’?

A healthy mindset is just as, if not more, important as product knowledge and selling skills.  However, most businesses usually only train their people in business skills, product knowledge and processes.  What we need to do is help people become more emotionally aware, intelligent and resilient in a number of ways.  We need to work with the whole person and provide people with access to a range of tools, processes and techniques which give them insight and teach them how to manage their emotions. We need to teach people how to develop healthy and resilient attitudes so they can take the heat and really excel.

We can’t all go on MasterChef to have our resilience and cooking skills tested, nor do all of us have the opportunity to be elite athletes and learn what it is like to work under obvious performance pressure however, we can learn how to develop resilience every day in small ways.

Higher performers, unlike many other people, have searched for and found tools, processes and techniques that help them develop strategies to enhance their self awareness and emotional resilience, and allow them to make the most of their capabilities and the situations they find themselves in on a daily basis.

Developing a Healthy and Resilient Attitude

The first step to becoming more emotionally aware, healthy and resilient is the acknowledgment that there is room for improvement and taking the time to learn more about yourself.  It’s about honest, constructive feedback and learning not to take things personally.  That is what MasterChef is all about – continuous self improvement and self awareness.  That’s what MasterSelling is about!

Next week we will look at some of the tools, behaviours and attitudes that help build self awareness, health and emotional resilience.  If you want further information about this, please contact us directly.

Thanks to MasterChef for another excellent season – truly inspiring stuff!

Finally, Mary Anne Radmacher’s words sum up for me and probably many sales people and entrepreneurs our lot: “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says ‘I’ll try again tomorrow’.”

Remember everybody lives by selling something.

Author: Sue Barrett, www.barrett.com.au

‘Walk a mile in my shoes’ is a song written by Joe South and made famous by Elvis Presley.  The song is very much about challenging closed mindedness, respecting and honouring differences, and learning how to get along with each other.  However, I propose that it also has a lot to say to sales and marketing people.  For instance, the first verse sets it up well:

If I could be you and you could be me for just one hour
If we could find a way to get inside each other’s mind
If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego
I believe you’d be surprised to see that you’d been blind

Many a customer’s ire has been roused when a sales person shows up and fails to find out what a customer’s priorities are.  Instead, launching into a self absorbed diatribe of product information and self aggrandisement leaving the customer completely out of the picture.

Another stanza points out some of the major issues with being internally focused, refusing to acknowledge and see others as they are.

Well, your whole world you see around you is just a reflection
And the law of common says you’re gonna reap just what you sow

This stanza reminds me of my common catch cry ‘who’s your brochure written for anyway?’  Many companies still fail to produce sales and marketing materials that their customers and prospects can relate to, instead producing material that is too internally focused.

Being “other” aware, tuning into what another person needs, likes or wants is vital to a successful sales career.  And it’s more than just asking a series of pre formed questions, writing down information and regurgitating it back without empathy or genuine understanding.

As Geshe Michael Roach, the author of The Diamond Cutter: The Buddha on Strategies for Managing Your Business and Your Life points out, the current western way of thinking, especially business and corporate incentives, has been very centred around what’s in it for the individual – ‘how am I going to benefit from this?’, ‘what will I get if I do this?’ and ‘how much will I make if I get this client on board, or deal over the line?’

Geshe Michael asks “When did you hear or read about two sales executives or two corporate executives splitting their bonuses because they did a good job together?  This individual focus causes us to concentrate on ourselves, at the expense of paying attention to others.”

‘I’ has been the centre of our business models for a very long time, however I am proposing that in order to be a highly evolved sales person we need to shift to a ‘we’ focus.  From ‘I’ to ‘we’ means including the ‘other’ in our thoughts, intentions and actions, and being able to see the world from another’s perspective even if we do not like or hold the same views or values ourselves.

Geshe Michael states “People have an instinct when they know you do not care that much about what they like or need and they have an instinct for the opposite as well.”

This statement begs some questions:

• How well do I really understand another person and see the world from their perspective?
• How well am I able to determine another person’s level of understanding about complex areas such as work, business, life, values, culture, etc.?
• How quickly am I able to become aware of how another person thinks or feels?

The practice of exchanging ourselves with others takes us out of our exclusive focus on ourselves and starts us off on the process of being sensitive to others.  It has a profound effect on work flow, performance and, most importantly, sustainable relationships.

There is a Buddhist practice called the Jampa Method which is outlined in more detail in The Diamond Cutter.  It involves exchanging yourself for another – what you do is to pretend to put your mind in their body and then open your eyes and look at you from their perspective.  You get to see or hear what it is that they (you in their body) would like from you (you).  This step is called switching bodies.  It is a little deeper and more difficult than just watching the people around you to see what they like or dislike.

When I practice this I ask myself “What does the other person need or want me to say and give to them?”  It creates a much deeper level of listening than I have ever experienced before and I find that I can really tune into the other person with greater clarity and connect with them on a deeper level.  It may seem a bit artificial at first but anything new does. I am work in progress as this method requires conscious effort and focused attention, however it can become second nature after regular practice and can make a profound difference to all relationships, personal and professional.

Therefore as I am writing this piece I am thinking about how I, the author, can stand in your shoes.  I am imagining myself as someone reading this thinking – “What about my customers, when are they going to stand in my shoes?”

It is a common response we hear from many sales people that they would just like their customer to know how they feel too.  This response highlights the importance of how we choose our actions and emotions rather than simply responding to those of others and that someone has to start the process first.

The choice is yours:

1. Do you choose Inaction? (which means you wait for your customers to make the first move) OR
2. Do you choose Action? (where you take the lead)

So in the spirit of ‘walking a mile in each others’ shoes’ maybe we could all as customers and sales people, or simply as human beings try this approach and see what happens.

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Yeah, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes

Thank you very much!

Remember everybody lives by selling something.

Author: Sue Barrett, www.barrett.com.au

Everything lines up: your solution is a very good match for the client company, you have ticked all the boxes but the deal is rejected.  You are perplexed and confused.  “It’s a great solution!  It’s what they wanted and needed. Why are they saying no?”  Building on from last week’s ‘How do I deal with client objections?’ l thought we should look at when objections become personal.

Over the years I have come to realise that many of us have lost sales not because we didn’t have a good offering or we couldn’t show a real return on investment, rather a key person(s) involved in the sales process or outcome didn’t want the sale to go ahead due to personal reasons or biases.

In the past, I have naively thought that all clients wanted to do the right and best thing for their business, their teams, and their people, however I have been proven wrong on a number of occasions.  Eventually I came to realise that whilst all buying decisions will have a personal aspect to them, some were more self serving than I realised.

What I have learnt over the years is that when people’s status is threatened they can act wildly.  Seeing the world from another’s perspective isn’t always easy, especially if the other person is basing their decision on how it will affect them personally, often at the expense of others and the higher goals of the business or project.

When we are selling, thinking about the impact on the person(s) involved is, therefore, very important.  This is based on the notion that people are unlikely to be as objective in their decision making as we would like and have their own agendas which can be both visible and hidden. The same can be said for sales people too, their personal biases can severely affect the outcome of a sales as well. In fact, rationality often goes out the door.  Not everyone likes to reveal their real reasons behind a decision because they may not be that pleasant.

No one really likes to look stupid or incompetent, especially to their people, managers, clients and markets.  Pointing out the obvious solution which looks great to you may be seen as threatening by some prospects or clients.  For example, they could be thinking “Why didn’t I think of that?”, “This might put me out of a job if we do this”, “My preferred supplier, who is a mate of mine, may lose out here and I’ll lose a friend if that happens”, or “This means I’ll have to change how we do things here and my power/position/status/influence will become redundant”.

There are many examples of where self- interest or even group think can dismiss a great idea or solution from being implemented.   In a sales situation, if you come across indecision, stalling, or rejection of a well matched solution, think about how your solution may be affecting the individuals involved. Is your solution at risk of making the other person(s) feel?

• Less credible or appear stupid to their peers, managers, or staff
• Lose power or control over a situation, team or decision
• Affect their career aspirations
• Not be seen in the best light with their superiors or their team
• Lose status or kudos
• Act differently to how they really want to
• Have their real intentions, actions or agenda exposed to others

We all know not everyone acts in the best interest of the group.  They may be acting to serve their own interests at the expense of others or the greater good.

It is often necessary to try and understand those often ‘unspoken’ needs of customers. While I don’t always get it right, I have worked out that I need to do at least two key things:

1. Find out where I need to be a King Maker
2. Find out where I need to be wary of the Saboteur

Distinguishing between the genuine buyer and the saboteur

As sales people we need to quickly recognise how we and our solution can be a feather in the cap of our buyers.   For instance, if our solution or working with us can help or enhance a person’s career, status or reputation, for the all the right reasons, then this needs to be part of the solution and decision making process.  Who doesn’t want to be associated with a successful partner or project?  If we support the key decision maker, influencer, or end users to feel validated then this can aid the decision making process.

Asking the client how the proposed solution will help them or benefit them personally will give you a valuable insight into their decision making process.  If a person is making a decision based on, amongst other things, how this solution will look on their resume and affect their career status, then we need to realise that our role is also part King Maker.  If this is important to them and does not transgress ethical boundaries then why not?

I try to remember to ask “How will this decision help or impact on you personally?” and then take that into account when preparing my proposal, pitch, follow-up or roll out of the solution.

On the other hand you may come across the Saboteur.  The Saboteur is the person who operates behind the scenes and has a hidden agenda(s) that may involve your proposal not being successful.  If you have a Saboteur as part of your decision making process, it will mean that they are going out of their way to ensure that your proposal does not get put forward. This usually stems from some sort of self-driven, self-serving agenda.

If you suspect you have a Saboteur in your midst, you must try as early on as possible to determine what their motives are. If you are unable to do this, you must pay special attention to their objections and probe where possible. This will help to provide you with more information around their key drivers.

Bear in mind that Saboteurs are often well known amongst the key decision makers and influencers in the decision making process for their underhanded, self-driven ways and often their opinion is given less weight.  However, their bite can certainly strike a blow to your progress if the decision is hanging in the balance.  Be sure, they will find your weakest spot and run with it.

Some key characteristics of the Saboteur

• Have a hidden agenda
• They have a vested interest in you not succeeding
• Can derail entire sales process and influence key stakeholders negatively
• Possibly aligned with competition (sleeping with the enemy)
• May appear genuine on the surface but can be the ’smiling assassin’

The world of selling is a complex one at the best of times and you may be left thinking that you need a Phd in psychology in order to deal with the variations in human emotions, intentions, and behaviours.  While a Phd it is not necessary, be aware, wary, and alert to the subtleties of client engagement and interactions.  Carrying your moral compass along with your very best skills in active listening, questioning, verifying, problem solving, and prevention, and self-reflection along with you for the ride and  applying them on a consistent daily will aid you enormously.  And the good news is they take up very little space, yet give you an expansive view.

Remember everybody lives by selling something.

Author: Sue Barrett, www.barrett.com.au

Many sales people, for the first time, are experiencing tough times when it comes to selling and many are not sure how to handle themselves in these difficult situations.

The current climate is, indeed, a test of character.

Many sales people, especially those in their 20’s and 30’s have not likely experienced selling in tough markets before.  For the past 12 years prior to 2008, at least, the business climate in our market place has been, for the most part, buoyant.  As we all know it’s very easy to sell when times are good.

It now begs the question: How well have we prepared ourselves practically, emotionally, and physically to manage our way through these tough times?

In recent weeks and months at Barrett, we have seen an increase in the number of conversations we are having with clients about how to help their salespeople to deal with distressful situations. They are seeking support, coaching and training in how to help sales people and sales managers handle the emotional fallout from the GFC.  The requests for  support and training range from wellbeing, emotional resilience, optimism, stress management, how to re-engage with the team or clients, and how to lead a healthy life.

Not surprisingly, many of these requests have come from the finance and advertising sectors reporting that the current landscape has been one of turmoil and distress. While other sectors have also sort support it is not at the level suggested above.  These business leaders have indicated that many of their clients have been severely affected by the GFC and this has created a significant amount of depression in the market place, also affecting their sales teams.

For instance at a recent management meeting, the sales leaders raised their concerns about how the sales team was handling the distress arising from severely reduced incomes for themselves and their clients and loss of a number of clients from their industry.  They wanted to know what they could do about it because what they were doing by way of standard management practice wasn’t working.  For the first time they are seeking help around emotional resilience, and optimism.

Another business, in the advertising space, reported that their sales team had been hit hard too with lower than expected advertising spend. Management was observing very low motivation levels and rising levels of distress in the team.  They realised that their people didn’t have strategies to cope with this crisis.  They were worried their people were feeling useless and dejected.

The one thing these two sales teams have in common is that their sales people earn significant commission from their sales results.  With their clients in freefall and sales down, these sales people’s earnings were being affected which meant that some are having trouble paying their mortgages, maintaining their life styles, etc.  Certainly reasons for concern, however doing nothing and getting ‘depressed’ isn’t going to help solve their problems.

But it isn’t just the income drop that’s causing concern, another sales team whose incomes are not linked to commissions, also found it hard to remain positive and keep going in the face of adversity.  With clients feeling the pain, these sales people didn’t want to be around the negativity or distress.  It’s almost as if they have chosen to put their fingers in their ears and saying ‘la la la la la’ to block out the stress hoping it all goes away.  Not very useful either.

The sales teams mentioned above are all highly trained and skillful sales people.  They have been trained in appropriate sales skills and processes but many do not have the tools or know-how when it comes to managing their own wellbeing, stress, emotions, and the emotions of others.

If, as is being highlighted, these and other sales people like them are not used to dealing with sets backs, overcoming obstacles or they let the negative sentiments of  others overtake them then their work will suffer.  It will be much harder to achieve results.  This negativity can cloud their thinking and potentially keep them from seeing and realising those ideas and strategies that will get them back on track and producing again.

So what do you rely upon to get you through the tough times?

Besides the obvious sales skills, processes and tools, we need to learn (if we haven’t already) and apply the skills that go to developing strategies for healthy thinking, emotional resilience, optimism, healthy lifestyle practices, etc.

My concern is that many people, especially younger people may not have been in a position to really build up their resilience and toughen up, especially in sales and tough markets like this.  It appears that many don’t seem know how to navigate and manage their thinking and emotions through these times.

Developing emotional resilience and awareness in a variety of situations is vital for your ongoing survival and ability to thrive despite the markets or life’s other circumstance.  Developing emotional resilience supports individuals to better achieve their goals, communicate with and manage other people, and spring back emotionally after suffering through a difficult and stressful time in one’s life.

Some of us might be born with the potential to be more resilient than others but you do not know how resilient you are until you put yourself to the test or life does it for you.  The saying ‘if it doesn’t kill it will make you grow stronger’ is quite apt here.

We can all learn how to be resilient and we can learn from a very early age.

Whether we learn to develop and cultivate our resilience in relatively safe environments like playing both team and individual sports, or learning music and performing at recitals, or we develop resilience via our personal experiences such as developing and losing friendships, or other trials of childhood like playing favourites, not fitting in, learning difficulties, etc., or more extreme difficulties such as  losing a parent to cancer, chronic illness, and other life changing events, all these have an effect on each of us.  How we are taught to deal with and overcome these challenges and learn from them the best way we can is what helps us develop resilience.  If someone else tries to assume responsibility for your journey, even if it is with the best intentions, they are really taking away your ability to learn and grow.

As a parent I know I want my children to be safe and free from harm, however if I cotton wool them from life’s tough experiences then they will not develop their resilience and learn the lessons of life. None of us need ever be a victim when we know we have choices in every moment and we take responsibility for them.

No one can ever be guaranteed of winning. We know we have to work for our successes. We usually  fail more than we succeed but that is par for the course in life.  We need to encourage each other  to pick ourselves up and keep going, learning from our mistakes, stretching ourselves to do better.  It’s about doing our best at whatever we do.  Winning isn’t everything, but doing our best, developing self mastery, taking calculated risks and learning from everything we do is what life was all about.

It is possible to teach people how to develop the skills to enhance their emotional resilience, optimism and ways of thinking and dealing with the world. This information is not new either, it has been around for thousands of years.   We can all encourage a resilient attitude at work and at home.

Here are some tips.

Developing a Resilient Attitude
The first step to becoming more emotionally resilient is the acknowledgment that there is room for improvement and taking the time to learn more about yourself.  The following behaviours and attitudes are some ways in which emotional resilience can be demonstrated and measured:

•    Have realistic and attainable expectations and goals.
•    Show good judgment and problem solving skills.
•    Be persistent and determined.
•    Be responsible and thoughtful rather than impulsive.
•    Be effective communicators with good people skills.
•    Learn from past experience so as to not repeat mistakes.
•    Be empathetic toward other people (caring how others around them are feeling).
•    Have a social conscience, (caring about the welfare of others).
•    Feel good about themselves as a person.
•    Feel like they are in control of their lives.
•    Be optimistic rather than pessimistic.

Selling, as a career, is not for the faint hearted as I have often stated.  Besides good selling skills, quality thinking and solid process it takes courage, self discipline, determination, persistence, the ability to learn from your mistakes, a sense of humour, and a healthy approach to life to lead a healthy sales career.

How do we do this?  Among other things this requires people to have access to insight and self awareness.

In my opinion, we need to help people become more emotionally aware, and resilient in a number of ways.  We need to give people access to tools, processes and assessments that can help them develop insight and strategies to enhance their emotional resilience and allow people to make the most of their capabilities and the situations they find themselves in on a daily basis. Particularly if they have not had the chances to really test themselves in previous roles or earlier in their lives.

Not only do we need to be skilful in selling we need to be skilful in how we manage our wellbeing, our emotions and the emotions of others.

So as I reflect on my life so far and all the challenges and joys that come with it, I am indeed grateful for the gift of resilience, it keeps me growing.

Author: Sue Barrett is Founder & Managing Director of BARRETT

For further information on emotional resilience and other strategies please contact us on (+61) 03 9532 7677 or use this form.

To ensure our strategy is right for you, Barrett can incorporate a range of methods into our work including Emotional Intelligence (EI) theory, Positive Psychology, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Mindfulness and Meditation.   Mind Your Emotions® encompasses a series of programs and facilities Barrett has developed to give people access to tools, processes and assessments that can help them develop strategies to enhance their emotional resilience and allow people to make the most of their capabilities and the situations they find themselves in on a daily basis.

Talk to us about how you can Mind Your Emotions® and develop and enhance emotional resilience.

There are many things written and said about effective sales people, effective leaders, successful entrepreneurs, great teams and so on.

Many descriptions are in circulation.  There is an overabundance of experts recommending this approach one day and that approach the next.

Those of us who want to be effective and successful often follow the advice of those experts however we are at risk of turning ourselves inside out and losing sight of what we are really here to do if we keep trying to bend to the winds and whims of the latest management trends, fads, findings, research, etc.

I am not against reading widely, continuous learning, adopting new ways and adapting to change as you have probably realised by now.

However, in recent times I have been feeling overwhelmed by too much information and instead found myself opting for a ‘less is more’ approach to life.

As I always do, I have been sifting through a lot of information and finding that I am beginning to distill some fundamental truths that hold true whatever the fad or trend of the day.

On my most  recent distillation process I have found that I was able to identify four valuable life skills that work very well for me in every situation I have found myself in.  You will recognise that these skills are essential to effective selling, and I am sure you won’t miss their relevance to all other roles we play, personally and professionally.

So in the spirit of ‘less is more’ here are my 4 valuable life skills which continue to serve me very well:

1. The ability to ask good questions
2. The ability to actively listen
3. The ability to receive and give honest feedback
4. The ability to reflect on my actions

I hope they serve you well too. Enjoy your sales week.

Remember everybody lives by selling something.