Today people are looking for honesty and authenticity and do not have time to be misled. They want to work with people who are what they say they are. They are assessing your every word and action. They are looking beneath the surface and are wanting to see the real you.

Many people are now more wary about companies and sales people making big claims and promises with lots of ‘sizzle’. They are wary of the ‘charmers’ and the sales people after the ‘big kill’. What they are now looking for is the steak and all that comes with it: i.e. what kind of steak is it? How it was it grown, prepared and cooked? Where did it come from? Is it grown in an environmentally friendly, humane manner? etc. They no longer want to confuse packaging with substance. They look for evidence at every turn and how you align with the promises you make.

Sales is now getting personal. The spotlight is now squarely on the sales person and the business they represent. Their actions and words are scrutinised every day.

Going (not quite gone) are the days of the ‘charmers’ who try to seduce you into buying something – the term often used in this situation is ‘getting into bed’. In recent times I have seen some sales people, salesmen to be precise, usually with 20+ years sales careers whose whole sales strategy was to seduce people with their charm, designer suits, Tiffany cufflinks and personal flair. Their preference was always for face-to-face meetings – none of this telephone stuff (meaning it is much harder to dazzle you over the phone).

I have even seen them try their ‘charm’ offensive on colleagues and myself in training sessions. But we were having none of it. In fact it was very inappropriate and quite embarrassing, mostly for them. What we found was that they shied away from acknowledging the relevance of effective selling skills like questioning, active listening, problem solving, etc. and didn’t like being put under the spot light when it to came to participating in competency oriented role plays and validating themselves. Instead they complained and tried to distract us with their charm again. Some of these men had also found they were in and out of sales jobs more quickly in recent times, with one man having 4 sales jobs in different companies in the last four years. He was clearly frustrated and was struggling to come to terms that his ‘charm’ strategy wasn’t working anymore. He and others like him hadn’t adapted nor recognised that people want more than the packaging on show they are wanting substance.

Then there is the overly competitive, self centred, soloist sales people who want everything for themselves – everyone else, even their peers, are either there to serve them or are competition. And they want to win and win big. Being on top of everyone else is what they want – but I ask you at whose expense? They see sales as a sport, more precisely Big Game Fishing or Hunting. Customer are ‘Targets’. Getting a Sale is referred to as ‘the Kill’. Customers are regarded as objects to be possessed or trophies to be placed in their cabinet, to be shown off and admired (perversely so) like stuffed animal heads on the wall.

Quite frankly, as a customer I do not want to be possessed, or displayed like a trophy nor do I want to be seduced or charmed into ‘getting into bed’ with someone. I want to be in a productive effective relationship. Like I said before I do not have the time to be misled nor do I want to be misled, coerced, bullied or intimidated into buying.

Thank goodness these types are dying (al beit slowly) and making way for a more enlightened, consultative, big picture focused, business oriented, cooperative sales person who is well organised, disciplined, can prospect proactively, is fully aware of their product and business’ value to their customer market, their competitive edge and how to make business work for them and their customers.

They are fit, well-presented, up to date, self aware and relevant – and they are not just female. There are more men out there working this way too. I am also noticing a growing trend among younger men who recognise the need to be more integrated as sales people and people as a whole. In fact I have three men this week alone mention this without prompting. What they and others like them recognise is that if we only focus on competition for competition’s sake or try to seduce people with our charm we are apt to miss the main point; which is:

Without the cooperation and kindness of others we cannot exist.

That is why I am finding more and more people saying they want to work with others (suppliers, partners and customers) in a spirit of cooperation, consultation and respect not competition or deceit. This personal insight and awareness makes for much better sales people and much better sales results.

I don’t know about you, but I often find myself reflecting on a whole range of things in my life including my professional sales career and wondering at all the things I have learned over the years.

Conscious reflecting on sales has now become almost a daily occurrence for me, especially, since I have been writing this sales blog. There are so many aspects to selling that the more I look into selling the more I find to reflect upon. So it was with some amusement that I found myself reflecting on reflecting itself and how valuable it is to our continued development and overall healthy functioning in this ever-changing world.

Sadly, I have noticed that not too many sales people proactively and independently take the time to reflect on their own performance, the needs and requirements of their customer, business and markets, or their own personal goals. They often need prompting to do so.

How do I know this? Well in every training session I have ever conducted in sales, the feedback I receive from almost every participant is along the lines of:

“This is the first sales training program I have ever done that actually looks at me and how I function in a Sales role.”

Or

“I never looked at myself this way before – now I can see where I can make improvements in my skills and behaviours.”

Or

“Now I understand why I am good at sales”

In this busy world, too many of us do not take the time to self-reflect. Yet self-reflection can be one of the best things you can do for yourself personally and professionally.

In fact research reveals that self-reflection and self-appraisal are the top key attributes demonstrated on a regular basis by top performing sales people. Is it any wonder then why they are top of their field?

So I thought it might be worth reflecting on Self-reflection.

Self-Reflection involves both skills and an attitude of acceptance

Reflection is “thinking about a thing, particularly with a notion of meditation upon a previous experience or event and its significance” (Penguin Dictionary of Psychology)

In the context of Competency enhancement and self-development, Self Reflection relates to what a person thinks about the feedback received, whether it be direct feedback or your observations of others’ reactions to your actions and the outcomes you achieve.

Reflecting on Self involves:

· Making realistic self-appraisals

· Being willing and able to see those aspects of yourself you are less happy with, i.e. your shadow self

· Being motivated to grow, learn and willing to change

· Creating opportunities to receive feedback – It is hard to give feedback at the best of times. We can enhance the likelihood of others’ giving us feedback by giving them invitations to do so

The benefits obtained from Reflecting on Self can be enhanced through the use of the following key skills.

Skills…

Self Awareness – the condition of being aware of, or conscious of oneself – in the sense of having a relatively objective but open and accepting appraisal of one’s true personal nature.

Self-Appraisal – the process of providing an appraisal of oneself

Adopt an attitude of…

Acceptance - seeing yourself as you really are, even if what you see feels unpleasant, being receptive to any aspect of yourself without trying to avoid it or deny.

Non-judging – taking an objective and impartial approach. Being aware of your judgments of yourself and others and then taking a step back to watch, listen and understand.

I encourage you to take time in your day to reflect on yourself, your goals, your plans, your career and your life. Here are some questions to get you started:

· How has your market place changed?

· How have you needed to adapt and change to stay sales fit?

· What feedback are you receiving from various sources that is giving you further insights into your effectiveness as a sales person or human being?

· Am I aware of all the skills and qualities I possess that allow me to sell, communicate and build relationships effectively?

The time you take to self-reflect might just be worth it.

It has often been said that very strong negotiation skills are critical to being a high performing sales person. However, findings from our “sales force fitness” profiling work, where we profile critical qualities for successful sales performance in many businesses, large and small, is telling a very different story.

Before you invest your training dollars into negotiating skills training for your sales team, you might like to think about investing it into influencing skills training instead.

Why? The ability to positively influence prospects or clients towards your brand and product offering – more so than negotiation – is what is needed in today’s market.

Products/solutions are often quite clearly defined and a salesperson’s ability to negotiate price and value-added services is limited in today’s market.

We are now finding some companies are setting prices for their sales teams with no room for negotiation, thus eliminating price negotiations altogether.

(Not always a bad thing if you ask me, given all the pricing discounts I have seen sales people giving away unnecessarily over the years.)

So what is a sales person to do now?

We are consistently hearing in interviews with high performing sales managers and sales people that the ability to positively influence the client is a more critical competency than the skill of negotiating. This has direct relevance to the emotional intelligence (EI) area of managing others emotions.

The emotional management of others is the skill of influencing the moods and emotions of others. A sales person’s ability to:

• Influence a prospective customer to say ‘yes’.
• Overcome a customer’s reservation towards a new product.
• Help a client feel enthusiastic about a product they recently purchased.
• Plan with a client how to best engage their ‘economic buyer’.

These are critical to success in business today.

In addition, we are finding that:

• Accurately reading the client, gauging their reactions and then adjusting your own style is also being highlighted as a key competency of high performing sales people. This is relevant to the EI competency of recognising emotions of others, emotional reasoning and managing others emotions.
• Building relationships and trust is also critical. For the past three of our major corporate projects in assessing “sales force fitness”, it has been cited as a key point of competitive difference. The ability to build trust-based relationships is influenced by a number of EI competencies – emotional self awareness, emotional awareness of others, ability to influence others’ emotions and emotional control.

Ask yourself: “How effectively are my sales people perceiving, understanding, reasoning with and manage their own and others’ feelings.” These skills are cornerstones to successful selling, as emotions are an inherent part of why people buy and why they do not.