If you’re sensing that rudeness and incivility are on the rise lately, you would be right.
Research shows that since the pandemic incidents of rudeness and incivility have been escalating worldwide.
Before we look further at the statistics, let’s look at Rudeness and Incivility themselves.
Culturally, people can be perceived as rude if they are too direct, blunt, or cheeky, or if they do not follow certain social mores – customs and codes of behaviour established by a social group- whether they intended to behave that way or not; however, this is not what we are talking about here.
This post is specifically calling out behaviours that are intentionally detrimental to the healthy functioning of relationships of any kind i.e. personal, professional, one-on-one, in teams, and across businesses, institutions, and societies; behaviours such as insults, put-downs, crude language, interrupting, impertinence, insolence, and incivility are the behaviours at issue here.
While most people still act with courtesy and respect towards each other, the rising levels of impatience, entitlement, and disrespect we see and experience, are threatening the fabric of what makes for healthy human relationships, good business, and flourishing societies.
How the rise in rudeness and incivility impacting businesses
Rudeness is contagious. When leaders and managers are rude or tolerate uncivil behaviour, it spreads across the organisation and the consequences are far-reaching.
According to research from Christine Porath, a professor at Georgetown University‘s McDonough School of Business:
- 76% of respondents experience incivility once a month or more
- 78% witness incivility at work once a month or more
- 70% witness incivility at work two to three times a month or more
- 73% said that it is not unusual for customers to behave badly
- 78% said they believe customers treating employees poorly is more common now than it was five years ago
- 66% said they believe bad behaviour between customers is more common now than it was five years ago
People who experience rudeness or uncivil behaviour perform worse than those who don’t.
And it seems that being treated rudely is not only harmful to the person suffering it, but also to people witnessing it. Research shows that those who witness acts of incivility towards others at work have a significant decrease in performance as well.
How do we remedy rudeness and incivility?
First, from the top down, everyone in an organisation must actively work to encourage, support, and role model courtesy and manners because courtesy and manners are NOT trivial, they are necessary for a healthy and functioning society.
As Edmund Burke (1729-1797) describes Manners:
“Manners are of more importance than laws. Manners are what vex or soothe, corrupt or purify, exalt or debase, barbarize or refine us, by a constant, steady, uniform, insensible operation, like that of the air we breathe in.”
Manners, courtesy, ethical conduct, and morals flow from the same principle: the consideration for others.
Good selling and service and good business are all about the consideration for others – clients, staff, suppliers, etc.; understanding where the other is at and then working out if we can help them in a mutually beneficial manner.
Active consideration is at the heart of good business and good societies. Consideration is good selling. Consideration is good customer service. If you want your customers to come back, refer you on, sing your praises, then encourage everyone in your business to demonstrate consideration by understanding each other’s perspective while working in a respectful and courteous manner.
If we are considerate of ourselves and others, we can also demonstrate compassion and understanding recognising that we all have bad days and off moments. However, having a ‘bad’ day does not entitle us to be rude and uncivil. Practising self-regulation, self-control, responding rather than reacting to challenging situations, is all part of managing our emotions and taking ownership over how we treat others and ourselves.
Second, as considerate as we need to be of others and their circumstances, we must not accept rude or uncivil behaviour and, instead, call it out for what it is. Knowing how to do that in a safe and effective manner requires skill and practice because it can be confronting. Training our people in how to do this is very important, especially for client facing roles.
The good news is that training our people in and encouraging an atmosphere of consideration and respect for self and others, fostering a culture of manners and courtesy, and how to stand by each other results in much healthier, happier, and civil workplaces where people can focus on getting the job done and working well together.
Small daily acts of courtesy, manners, and consideration are good for business and vital in making for good sales and customer service practices and outcomes. Today, they are needed more than ever. They are needed in the face of what seems to be a tsunami of unnecessary fear and hate plaguing our media and societies.
If we want to do good business, make good sales, deliver good service, build healthy client relationships, and build sustainable businesses that make for better societies we must be vigilant and not let manners and courtesy disappear. They are vital daily acts of kindness that make for a better more inclusive and productive world.
Whenever someone treats you kindly, show your appreciation, express your gratitude, and offer your thanks. It makes a huge difference.
Remember, everybody lives by selling something.
Stories from the field
I met with a long term existing client who you would pigeon hole as “fairly hard to deal with” and would assume had everything with us. Without boring you with the details, they needed 9 additional products with the potential of a referral from them. At the end of the meeting, the customer acknowledged that this meeting was the best interaction they have had with a Bank.
Look out, I feel like I’m walking on water.
I couldn’t believe how much information I got out of this client using WWW.
Related topics
Why We Prioritise Virtues over Values in Our Work at Barrett
Putting Humanity Back on the Corporate Map
Organisations Are Nothing Without Communication and Relationships
A year ago
Selling Can Be an Act of kindness
Three years ago
What to Do When There’s Panic in the Air…Get Focused & Get Selling
Ten years ago
New Article Email Notification