This is Part 1 of a 2-part series on Unethical Self-Promoters.
Back in 1988, I was introduced to a body of research* that focused specifically on the concept of self-promotion, prospecting, and new business development, and the learned behaviours and attitudes that give rise to the fear of self-promotion and sales call reluctance. This body of research was an illuminating, eye-opening, life changing experience for me in many ways – it was a key catalyst that helped kick-start the work I do today. Since then I’ve had the privilege of introducing tens of thousands of people to this research that includes training in ethical self-promotion and prospecting strategies, and how to overcome any fears and hesitations they may experience in this area.
One of the key elements of this research that fascinated me were the findings on Natural Self-Promoters and in particular, the concepts of ethical and unethical self-promotion.
Ethical self-promotion is based on the realistic understanding that success in any contact-dependent career requires both effective performance and effective self-promotion. There is a third element that helps distinguish ethical self-promoters from their charlatan unethical self-promoting cousins – a genuine respect for the needs of others.
Unethical self-promoters are an extremely dangerous group of people. Chances are all of us, at some stage in our lives, have come across at least one unethical self-promoter who has attempted or succeeded in taking advantage of us. These master manipulators can be a bit tricky to spot if you don’t know what you’re looking for and, sadly, they are on the rise infecting all walks of life.
While unethical self-promoters have always been in our midst, it seems that with the advent of social media and the myriad of ways we can easily engage with others, unethical self-promoters are out and about in huge numbers. Unfortunately, a number of them are running companies, public institutions, states, and countries, while others are running quasi-religious congregations, influencer communities and self-help, wellness, new age groups that are tricking people into giving up their time and hard-earned money for nothing more than hype, spin, unrealistic promises, or even dangerous health advice. Cults couldn’t exist if it weren’t for unethical self-promoters looking for gullible followers.
What these master manipulators want is our money and good will because this helps them enrich themselves. They care nothing for our feelings, wellbeing or long term benefits; despite their overt attempts to appear psychologically strong and caring, they are just manipulators, grifters, and shills who are very, very dangerous, especially when they get into positions of power and have control over a corporation or nation’s future.
These unethical self-promoters, can often be some of the best communicators around, coming up with simplistic messages to complex problems that sound plausible but are always wrong. Spinning false messages and manipulating facts, images and the media, they brainwash people into believing that only they have the answers we are seeking and all we have to do give them our money, attention, votes, or devotion for our salvation. They rely on people not checking facts, they play on our fears and our desires for safety, security, fortune, or fame. They often prey on the uneducated, desperate and/or vulnerable, but even those with education can be fooled. Just think about those who have fallen down the conspiracy theory rabbit holes.
Unethical self-promoters communicate with high sounding vagueness common to many politicians. They identify the need for unshakable commitment to moral decency without actually embodying these qualities themselves – just think of any cult leader or tele-evangelist who tells you how to live your life or manage your career without doing it themselves as they swan around in their luxury mansions and private jets you paid for doing everything they tell their followers to abstain from.
Greed, hypocrisy, lies, manipulation and cruelty are at the centre of unethical self-promoters’ stone cold hearts.
Unfortunately, most of us spot unethical self-promoters when it’s too late.
However, we can protect ourselves because most unethical self-promoters repeat certain behaviours which makes them predictable. Here is a checklist you can use so you can spot them before they spot you.
Unethical self-promoters checklist
- Compulsive name dropper
- Is inappropriately calm and poised – even when caught in a lie
- Explains being caught in a lie as a harmless misunderstanding
- Engages in melodramatic use of righteous indignation to over-assert character, credibility, values, and integrity
- Strategically uses actual or implied intimidation
- Unable to show or sustain genuine emotion
- Enjoys few long-term or deep-seated relationships
- Uses bizarre reasoning and self-delusion to justify unethical behaviours
- Has a concealed history of legal problems and financial misunderstandings
- Deals with tough or shady ethical issues by relativising them
- Talks long term, but thinks and acts short-term
- Uses simplistic, manipulative techniques to gain rapport and advantage over others
- Uses verbal ambiguity as a manipulative technique
- Tailors behaviour to appear psychologically strong, open, caring and resilient
- Has a tainted view of the motive of others
- Has expert knowledge of the tools and techniques of other manipulators
- Seems unmoved by threats of being exposed
- Claims expertise in an unrealistic, impossible number of fields
- Always looking for loopholes or advantages for self
If you feel uncomfortable around someone, if what they say sounds too good to be true, trust your instincts as you may be in the midst of an unethical self-promoter who is looking for VICTIMS not a viable prospect or a genuine contact.
Next week we’ll talk about how a few bad apples – unethical self-promoters- do spoil it for everyone else.
Remember everybody lives by selling something.
*Behavioral Sciences Research Press
Related topics
4 Questions to Test if your Sales & Prospecting Tactics are Ethical
Why a Fair Exchange of Value goes beyond exchanging money for goods
A year ago
The Time is NOW for Purposeful Optimism
Five years ago
What’s the right Sales Conversion Ratio for my sales team?
New Article Email Notification