Walk a mile in my shoes

‘Walk a mile in my shoes‘ is a song written by Joe South and made famous by Elvis Presley. The song is very much about challenging closed mindedness, respecting and honouring differences, and learning how to get along with each other. However, I propose that it also has a lot to say to sales and marketing people. For instance, the first verse sets it up well:

If I could be you and you could be me for just one hour
If we could find a way to get inside each other’s mind
If you could see you through my eyes instead of your ego
I believe you’d be surprised to see that you’d been blind

Many a customer’s ire has been roused when a sales person shows up and fails to find out what a customer’s priorities are. Instead, launching into a self absorbed diatribe of product information and self aggrandisement leaving the customer completely out of the picture.

Another stanza points out some of the major issues with being internally focused, refusing to acknowledge and see others as they are.

Well, your whole world you see around you is just a reflection
And the law of common says you’re gonna reap just what you sow

This stanza reminds me of my common catch cry ‘who’s your brochure written for anyway?’ Many companies still fail to produce sales and marketing materials that their customers and prospects can relate to, instead producing material that is too internally focused.

Being “other” aware, tuning into what another person needs, likes or wants is vital to a successful sales career. And it’s more than just asking a series of pre formed questions, writing down information and regurgitating it back without empathy or genuine understanding.

As Geshe Michael Roach, the author of The Diamond Cutter: The Buddha on Strategies for Managing Your Business and Your Life points out, the current western way of thinking, especially business and corporate incentives, has been very centred around what’s in it for the individual – ‘how am I going to benefit from this?’, ‘what will I get if I do this?’ and ‘how much will I make if I get this client on board, or deal over the line?’

Geshe Michael asks “When did you hear or read about two sales executives or two corporate executives splitting their bonuses because they did a good job together? This individual focus causes us to concentrate on ourselves, at the expense of paying attention to others.”

‘I’ has been the centre of our business models for a very long time, however I am proposing that in order to be a highly evolved sales person we need to shift to a ‘we’ focus. From ‘I’ to ‘we’ means including the ‘other’ in our thoughts, intentions and actions, and being able to see the world from another’s perspective even if we do not like or hold the same views or values ourselves.

Geshe Michael states “People have an instinct when they know you do not care that much about what they like or need and they have an instinct for the opposite as well.”

This statement begs some questions:

• How well do I really understand another person and see the world from their perspective?
• How well am I able to determine another person’s level of understanding about complex areas such as work, business, life, values, culture, etc.?
• How quickly am I able to become aware of how another person thinks or feels?

The practice of exchanging ourselves with others takes us out of our exclusive focus on ourselves and starts us off on the process of being sensitive to others. It has a profound effect on work flow, performance and, most importantly, sustainable relationships.

There is a Buddhist practice called the Jampa Method which is outlined in more detail in The Diamond Cutter. It involves exchanging yourself for another – what you do is to pretend to put your mind in their body and then open your eyes and look at you from their perspective. You get to see or hear what it is that they (you in their body) would like from you (you). This step is called switching bodies. It is a little deeper and more difficult than just watching the people around you to see what they like or dislike.

When I practice this I ask myself “What does the other person need or want me to say and give to them?” It creates a much deeper level of listening than I have ever experienced before and I find that I can really tune into the other person with greater clarity and connect with them on a deeper level. It may seem a bit artificial at first but anything new does. I am work in progress as this method requires conscious effort and focused attention, however it can become second nature after regular practice and can make a profound difference to all relationships, personal and professional.

Therefore as I am writing this piece I am thinking about how I, the author, can stand in your shoes. I am imagining myself as someone reading this thinking – “What about my customers, when are they going to stand in my shoes?”

It is a common response we hear from many sales people that they would just like their customer to know how they feel too. This response highlights the importance of how we choose our actions and emotions rather than simply responding to those of others and that someone has to start the process first.

The choice is yours:

1. Do you choose Inaction? (which means you wait for your customers to make the first move) OR
2. Do you choose Action? (where you take the lead)

So in the spirit of ‘walking a mile in each others’ shoes’ maybe we could all as customers and sales people, or simply as human beings try this approach and see what happens.

Walk a mile in my shoes, walk a mile in my shoes
Yeah, before you abuse, criticize and accuse
Walk a mile in my shoes

Thank you very much!

Remember everybody lives by selling something.

Author: Sue Barrett, www.barrett.com.au