If I hear “Oh let’s exceed our customers’ expectations” one more time I will scream.

Usually my response is: ‘Why don’t we just meet their expectations in the first place?’ Too many times the marketing hype (the promise) does not always connect with the sales expectation set up by the sales team, which doesn’t always translate into a service experience we were promised in the first place.

We are often left disappointed, jaded and, if it happens more than once, cynical.

Too many of us have stories of where we have been let down by businesses not fulfilling our expectations. We see broken promises, exaggerated claims, hollow offerings, no real value!

William T. Brooks talks about the promise-expectation-experience chain in his book The New Science of Selling and Persuasion. He says, and I agree, that everyone in the organisation should know what the connection is between promise, expectation and experience. Everyone who sees, talks with or comes in contact with a prospect or customer must be able to understand and execute this in all their actions. This is your competitive edge.

The marketing and sales tools you give sales people, customer service teams, service technicians, and anyone else in contact with a customer must support your integrated promise-expectation-experience chain. Otherwise, it will be seen as insincere and fake.

Brooks also says: “An inconsistent poorly defined marketing, sales and service strategy for the entire organisation results in an organisation fraught with finger pointing, blame, denial, backbiting, slippery revenues and reduced cash flow.”

Regardless of the marketing position you chose to take, it’s important to effectively communicate that position to all the internal teams who work with prospects and customers.

Sales, marketing and service departments must never operate in isolation! However this happens too often.

Sales people setting false expectations

Even if you get your promise-expectation-experience chain right, there are some scenarios that can also damage customer expectations and experiences:

• Sales people who don’t know how to correctly analyse a customer’s situation and prescribe the right solutions. They give the wrong advice on how to proceed with your company.
• Sales people who make all sorts of promises to prospects just to get a sale knowing that the business will never deliver but they will still get their commissions.
• Sales people who can’t say NO and so promise unrealistic prices, or throw in “freebies” that aren’t free at all. Customers think these pricing deals are the norm and when a new sales person comes on board and informs them they were getting something at greatly reduced rates and now need to pay higher prices then of course the customer is ticked off. You can hear it, can’t you? “Why didn’t they tell me what the real price was in the first place?”
• Some sales people sell deals they know the delivery team will find near impossible to deliver because of too tight timelines, extra staffing or product needed, all to make a sale and get rewarded (often at the expense of someone else).

Some questions for your consideration:

1. What do your sales rewards systems actually reward?
2. Is your business made up of competing cultures where each area is vying for leadership?
3. If you were a customer of your business would you get what you expected and paid for from your marketing literature, your sales team, or your products/services?

Last week I explained that my blog is called Sell Like A Woman because there is an increasing body of research overseas showing that woman are often outperforming men in achieving sustainable results in sales and client relationships. And I promised you I would start to highlight, from my research, what successful sales women do especially well. So here is your first snippet.

Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus.

I asked 50 highly successful sales women across a wide variety of industries about the differences between male and female sales people.

There was a uniform feeling among all the women interviewed for my project that female sales people are better at establishing a long-term relationship with a customer, are better listeners and find it easier to identify emotions and respond with empathy. Here are a couple of quotes from some of the women in the research project.

“I strongly believe that female sales people start from a very different place to our male counterparts. We start with the relationship. Rather than darting in and offering quick fix solutions, we take a longer term and ultimately more strategic view of the potential value of each client to our company.

“We are willing to be more patient in bringing a client on board, if it will generate better results. I think it also fair to say that, from my observations, women do more of the detail/paper/leg work themselves (rather than delegating it to others), are much better time managers, and less caught up in ‘appearances’ – less ego driven. If I were a client, I would rather have a female rep looking after my interests.”

Another had this to say: “Big generalisation: women tend to be better listeners, and men are better at asking for the business. Women are more patient and men are more direct. Women like to build the relationship, when men like to ‘consummate’ the relationship with the sale.”

All of women interviewed responded in unison, believing saleswomen have certain advantages over men. This surprised me, given that up to date, still, a vast majority of salespeople are male, and sales as a profession is still considered a male profession.

The results of my research are consistent with other extensive studies done. Rosenbaum (1999) found that women have a real edge over men when it comes to complex selling, and in particular they surpass men with respect to the following competencies:

• Aligning customer/company strategic objectives.
• Listening beyond product needs.
• Orchestrating organisational resources.
• Consultative problem solving.
• Engaging in self-appraisal and continuous learning.

To help us come to grips with these and other competencies that make for good sales success, I will focus on a specific competency each week in my blog and this will give you the opportunity to explore how you use each competency in your work and sales careers – and how it affects your sales performance. Think about it like fitness training – bit by bit over time.

I welcome your feedback and findings.

Sell Like A Woman is purely about raising the level of consciousness of what qualities really make for great sales people (men and women alike) in the 21st century. So maybe we can begin to help managers clearly identify and articulate what they are looking for.

Some of you may be wondering why my blog is called “Sell like a woman”. First, Sell like a woman is not a feminist manifesto nor is it a male bashing exercise.

The creation of the title was inspired by an increasing body of research overseas showing that woman are often outperforming men when it comes to achieving real and sustainable results in sales and effective sustainable client relationships.

This led me to begin my research project and the book I am now writing, also called “Sell Like A Woman”. I have always been curious about women and their success in sales and wanted to explore the concept here in Australia and develop some Australian-based research as well.

So late in 2006 I found 50 highly successful sales women across a wide variety of industries. The information, stories and insights I received from these women were inspiring and fascinating.

In the beginning, I didn’t realise how profound the process would be for me and for many of the women on the project. It allowed us all the opportunity to connect with and learn from each other, to bring to the fore the real qualities that make for good selling and healthy relationships.

The ideas, experience and stories told by these women give great insights into what makes them and others like them successful, resilient, inspirational and most of all “real” when it comes to realising a sustainable fulfilling career in sales.

I cannot pre-empt how you may feel after reading this and subsequent posts, however many of the people, especially women, I have begun to share the research and findings with have felt vindicated, liberated and relieved.

Finally there was some evidence that gave legitimacy to how they chose to work and sell. They said the findings felt right and aligned with their experiences and results. The findings spoke to them in a truthful way that finally aligned with how they felt selling should be, and was for them.

You see for many of them, they were selling well, achieving excellent sales results and had excellent customer relationships, however, the prevailing paradigms for selling and the messages they were getting from management, training and the so called “sales gurus” were not matching how they felt they should sell.

Many of the qualities that distinguish these high performing sales women were often put down to nothing more than luck – ‘she was just lucky to get that sale’ or at worst ‘she slept her way to the sale’ etc.

Let me tell you there is no luck, tricks, secrets or having to sell your body when it comes to having successful legitimate careers in sales as a woman. Many managers now specifically want women in their sales teams. They are recognising the power of women in sales, yet many remain oblivious as to why sales women are often their star performers.

Like many people, I have always been curious about what makes “great sales performance”. This is a perplexing question that has been asked and attempted to be answered by many people over the years.

Also, are great sales people born? (most people believe this to be true – but it’s not). What does it take to be an elite sales performer, and can anyone learn how to sell well?

Many people have looked for one magic quality, one key ingredient that distinguished top performing sales people from all others – a magic ingredient with which only the special are anointed.

Here are some of those qualities that have been espoused as the one and only magic ingredient:

• Not call-reluctant.
• Resilient.
• Extroverted.
• Persuasive.
• A good talker.

The trouble with taking a singular approach to defining high level sales performance is that it assumes there is a one-size-fits-all approach to sales, and only those people with that ‘special” quality can sell. This is certainly not the case.

This singular approach minimises and trivialises the complexity that is inherent in effective selling and disregards the constant adjustment needed to meet changing industry standards, market conditions, competition, corporate strategy and culture, personalities involved and so on.

Just think about how the role of “sales” has changed in your industry over the years.

If we wanted to try and isolate one quality above all others I would have to highlight trust.

Great sales people have always known that their success lies in being able to sell based on trust, transparency and doing what they say they will do.

But how do you build trust? That involves many qualities working in an integrated fashion. Effective selling is an integrated system that uses a variety of skills, behaviours and knowledge. Based on study findings from here and overseas, our research into sales competencies has revealed some interesting findings.

While traditional competencies such as basic selling skills and account management are required, they do not differentiate top sales performers from poor or average sales performers.

A US longitudinal study released in 2001 by Bernard Rosenbaum, “Seven Emerging Sales Competencies” revealed nine sales competencies: seven emerging and two traditional. The findings cut across all industries, contradicting the assumption that successful sales practices vary among different industries.

Highest performing sales people develop and use the seven emerging competencies despite the fact they may not have been modeled by their managers – many managers still do not fully recognise these competencies.

Although essential to performance, the two traditional competencies showed little differentiation between high and low sales performers. Successful sales people are not constrained by traditional practices, but work instead in ways they have found best.

The seven emerging competencies are:

• Engaging in self-appraisal and continuous learning.
• Listening beyond product needs.
• Orchestrating internal resources.
• Aligning customer/supplier strategic objectives.
• Establishing a vision of a committed customer/supplier relationship.
• Understanding the financial impacts of decisions.
• Consultative problem solving.

The most interesting finding was that gender differences in sales competencies were found, with women rated significantly more highly than men on five of the emerging competencies. The author suggests this is reason to have a gender-balanced sales team.

I knew that being hesitant in the sales arena was a no-no, but I didn’t know just how much business it could cost.

From my experience, hesitating sales people miss out on about 15 new sales opportunities a month. People who do not hesitate to prospect or make contact with customers are five times more productive than their hesitant colleagues.

I find that most people in business hesitate to make contact with prospective buyers on a regular consistent basis, often leaving prospecting to chance. It is one of the biggest issues facing most businesses when it comes to making sales and staying viable.

If the average sales transaction is worth $800, the estimated income loss monthly of hesitation is $12,000, and the estimated income lost $144,000 a year.

Most people can recognise the immediate cost or lost opportunity of not making a sale, but what if hesitating is a ‘way of life’ in your business at the moment? It could be costing you a whole lot more, financially and emotionally. Here are some of the consequences of prolonged hesitation:

Financial cost of hesitation

• No new sales revenue coming in.
• Existing customer business drying up.
• Losing customers to competitors.
• Poor margins due to unnecessary discounting.
• Not getting the business you should gave got.
• Excessive complaints or returns due to over promising and under delivering.
• Lost income.
• Poor brand image.
• Impaired recruitment.

Emotional cost of hesitation

• Excessive worrying and anxiety about poor sales revenue results.
• Doubt about doing this type of work.
• Lack of sleep and exhaustion.
• Self doubt about one’s ability to do anything.

You need to work out whether you have a culture of hesitation. Are any of these occurring in your business right now?

• Making more excuses than sales.
• Sitting there aggressively waiting for the phone to ring.
• Wondering why sales aren’t coming in on a more regular basis.
• Complaining about making cold calls.
• Lacking confidence to pick up the phone and call or speak to people about your business.
• Worrying that people might reject you.
• Feeling ashamed about being in sales.
• Don’t want to be seen as being too pushy.
• Too busy doing other things then to sell but not making enough money.
• Discounting prices all the time.
• Doing coffee a lot but not making many sales.
• Saying ‘yes’ when you should have said ‘no’.
• Not standing up for the value of your business.
• ‘Over servicing’, at a cost to you or your business.
• Letting others take advantage of you at your expense.
• Not asking for referrals.
• Talking too much and not listening to your customers.

The good news is that hesitant behaviours and feelings you may experience are entirely learned and can by unlearned to help you self promote and make contact. This hesitation is not due to a lack of knowledge, skill, ability or talent.

Begin the journey

• Become aware of your issues (what’s your pain in the stomach?).
• Analyse where there is a problem (what’s causing the pain in the stomach?).
• Admit you need to take responsibility (hardest one of all to be truthful).
• Make a plan of new activities you need to do to be more proactive.
• Seek the right help (you may need to talk to experts in this field about building a robust prospecting plan, getting an attitudinal shift to prospecting in your people/business, put in place the right skills training so you know how to prospect and what to say, have a culture review to see if you and your people are harbouring any negative views about selling that could be sabotaging your sales efforts, etc).
• Take action and make changes.