What are your relationships built on?

If you are in business for the long haul then you know the value of building your business relationships on solid foundations. Too many times people have fallen foul of the broken promises and pipe dreams offered by those people whose only intention is to make money at your expense. I can recall a few incidents in my career where I have given people the benefit of the doubt only to be let down and in some very rare incidents, ripped off.

In sales and business we meet people every day and need to be able to size up and make quick judgments about their bona fides. Are they a viable prospect? Can they afford this product or service? The promises they make; can they keep them? The stories about forthcoming funding; can they produce evidence of its existence? Do they keep their word?

I admit it is in my nature to see the best in people and want the best for them and me. However, that positive expectation can be sorely tested when people do not follow through. Some people have the ability to say the right things but you are left feeling uneasy. Something is not quite right. There is doubt as to the existence of any real substance behind their claims.

Over the years I have become more wary and cautious about people’s claims and promises. I have taken to being more discerning and tend to question people more thoroughly about the substance of their offering. After doing so there are some people you never get to speak to again and probably for good reason.

With the ease of connecting and entering into relationships being facilitated by technology of the likes of Linkedin and Facebook, connecting with anyone sounds great but could be a risky move if you do not know the person in question and their intentions. Why do they want to connect with you? Whenever I get an invitation to connect on Linkedin by someone I do not know, I check out their page first then I ask them how we met and why they would like to connect. It is quite interesting the responses I get. Some are genuine in that there is a connection via various means that is mutually beneficial while others are purely after my connections list or are using Linkedin as a spam opportunity.

Personally I prefer my relationships to be built on solid foundations, which includes substance (having something of real value to offer) and trust (knowing I can rely on that person). Substance and trust underpin everything in relationships. Here is a checklist I have found useful when checking myself and others as to how we build trust and manage relationships. They may seem straight forward but you know that not everyone practices these.

  • Be predictable – Be consistent and reliable.
  • Do what you say – Your words should match what you do.
  • Trust others’ instinct – They may have different views, perspectives or experiences you haven’t seen before. Be open to exploring them and check for facts. However, sometimes you do need to trust another person’s judgment. Just make sure you can verify their claims at some point in the process. If you can’t, then trust your judgment and move on.
  • Don’t lie by omission – Don’t lie or keep secrets from people.
  • People are not mind readers – Tell people what you want or need, clearly and promptly.
  • Be willing to say “NO” – It’s okay for people to ask. Remember you don’t have to say “YES” to everything.
  • Continue to grow relationships – A relationship is a living and breathing thing. It takes conscious effort and daily work to grow a fulfilling relationship. Don’t be afraid to deal with crisis, emotions and questions. You should embrace them and look for solutions that will bring you closer.
  • Check intentions – are your or the other person’s intentions clear and honourable? Always check your intentions and ask yourself “is this healthy and helpful to me and the others involved?”

None of us work in isolation, so relationships are with us every day in some shape or form. Are the relationships you are currently forming worthwhile to you and the other people involved? Are you all better off for having met each other? Or do some of your relationships feel a bit one-sided either in favour of you or them? Relationships work best when they are open, fair and equitable. You never need feel like the victim if you chose to take control of your relationships and own your place in them.

All relationships are messy and some are messier than others. However, we can work towards creating healthy and profitable relationships on many levels with clients, work colleagues, suppliers, friends and the like. And it starts with us and our willingness to dig deep and be clear about what we want our relationships to be. Any worthwhile relationship takes effort to grow and develop and nothing is risk free. Your clients, colleagues, suppliers, family and friends depend on you to be clear about what you want and offer in a relationship. So what are your relationships built on?

Remember that everybody lives by selling something.
Author: Sue Barrett, Sales Training at barrett.com.au